What makes us happy?

INTRODUCTION

Our generation is the most depressed generation ever on earth; we can't deny it. Think of two things that make you happy and unhappy. Let's come to this later. We feel sad when things don't happen the way we want it to. We come across a lot of people in our generation that end their precious life because of depression. We make ourself worse in search of happiness. A high school student spends two years studying day and night, squeezing himself, to feel happiness when his results are revealed; If he doesn’t score as expected, he gets depressed and even ends his life. A programmer works day and night sacrificing his family time, to taste the happiness of promotion and increment, is still unhappy even after getting his promotion; we know that promotions are endless in a company. Loving couples say that meeting each other gives happiness, but even after they meet each other, they couldn't stay happy so long. If these things don't bring us permanent happiness, what else can bring happiness that don't fade away? Let’s look deeper to find answer.

HAPPINESS

We define happiness as the state of being happy. In other words, the state of feeling or showing pleasure. Whatever happens to us, we either link them to pleasure or pain. We do whatever we do now just to feel pleasure. Most of the times, what we expect doesn't happen so we link the situation to pain and the intensity of pain is proportional to the intensity of pleasure we expected. We say that nothing is permanent in this world,then how can happiness be? That's true but happiness can be permanent to you throughout your life. What should we do to gain such happiness? We need to change our perception towards happiness. Even if we get pain in life, we can come out easily if our perception about happiness is changed. 

WHERE DO WE GET IT?

If we ask people what makes them happy, everyone says that their good grades in exam makes them happy, good job makes them happy, a call from loved one makes them happy, and lot of other small stuffs. If we ask about permanent happiness, people say that a jackpot, earning a million per month, marrying their love, building a home, buying a bike, etc., will give them permanent happiness; If these things doesn't happen, they live their life regretting their fortune. Why do we set a finish line for ourself to be happy? Why do we need some external factor to make us happy? Whether it's happiness or pain, we decide it ourself. Nobody or nothing can hurt you without your permission; You are responsible for what you feel now. If you control what you are, why should you wait for something else to make you happy? Feel alive. Feel the happiness every moment you breathe, every moment your feet touch the ground. Parents that were once happy for their child breathing and hearing normally, aren’t feeling the same for their kid after few years,  instead they want him to fulfil their expectations, to be happy. Why do we need to keep postponing our goal to happiness! Feel happy right now. 

WHY DO WE FEEL UNHAPPY OFTEN?

We are taught to have a set of rules that make us happy and unhappy. Unfortunately in our rules book, the things that make us unhappy is five to six times more than the things that make us happy. We never feel happy for what we have, instead most of the times, we feel unhappy for what we don't have. If we feel happy for things that we already have with us, our life will be more beautiful than ever. A husband once felt happy for a morning wish from his wife doesn't feel the same after 5 years. The more we take things for granted, the more unhappy we feel about life. We must stop teaching our society that we need studies, things, and people to feel happy; teach everyone that we are here to live happily and whatever we search outside, we have within ourself. 

We need to improve three qualities that will give us inner happiness and make our life better. 

GRATITUDE

One of the important quality that gives inner peace to us and everyone around us is gratitude. We don't need to search for an external factor to be thankful for; be thankful to your body for a proper functioning and staying healthy. Be thankful to the food you eat everyday. Be thankful to the people that took effort to make you happy. When we show gratitude to people around us, we create trust and honesty with them; they keep making us happy in all the way possible.

INSIGHT

None of us ever took an effort to improve the insight in ourself. We need to understand ourself deeply and accurately to improve the qualities we already possess. We must stop doing things that are harmful to our body and mind. If we can't understand ourself, nobody else can; spend time listening to your breathe and heart beat. Tell your mind to stop thinking about everything that takes away your happiness in long term. We cannot experience pure happiness until we understand ourself. We consume everything that keeps us away from reality and gives pleasure for a short period; we believe them as permanent pleasure, but it takes away our happiness and good health in long term. Remove the ill thoughts from your mind that appears to be your permanent happiness. Understand and ask your body what it needs, ask your mind what it needs, ask your heart what it needs, supply them with what makes them healthy in long term. Live the moment. Nature can give you so much pleasure and happiness than alcohol ever can. Spend time with nature; feel alive. Go for a walk, feel happy for every step you are able to keep forward. Say your mind to stop thinking about future and regretting about past; live the present and switch off your thoughts. 

CONTRIBUTION

We have discussed about this quality in my previous article, but it needs to be included here, since this quality acts as the necessary one. Contribute yourself for the happiness of others. Learn to feel happiness by making others happy. Improving this quality will remove ego from our mind. We can connect with each other and work in improving the quality of our lives. Our happiness will never be permanent if people around us are suffering; it makes us suffer in long term. Creating a happy environment around us will give us whatever we demand. Let's make each other happy and help in living a peaceful life.

CONCLUSION 

Now answer the question I asked you in the INTRODUCTION part. We are in this world to connect with each other and create a happy environment around us. We get ourself into lot of troubles in search of happiness. We don't need to search happiness externally anymore. We don't need to wait for a good job, or a reply from someone, to feel happy. Take a deep breathe now and put up a smile, this is what the happiness we need. We are no more dependent on materials or anyone else to be happy. We have everything that we search for. We are there for ourself and nothing else can make us unhappy without our permission. Have a happy life, stay healthy, live the moment.